It’s not you, it’s me

Just like the footballing womaniser John Terry I have several relationships outside of marriage – unlike JT these are with gaming devices and the relationship is purely platonic (thank God for that). However, as an excuse to carry on with the relationship metaphore I decided to analysise how I feel about all 3 consoles (and now the PC) at what is probably the midpoint in their lifecycle. Despite being inaminate objects they do envoke real emotions in all but the most temperate gamer.

Ninendo Wii -

Out of all of the consoles I own in terms of gaming hours spent together I would suggest my relationship with the Wii is on the rocks. We had some good times when we first got together when we were both younger and the Wii was the new and kind of kooky. But these days it seems like we only hang out together when the kids want to play Super Mario Bros Wii, or the wife wants a quick work out on Wii Fit Plus.

At times it feels like we’ve out grown each other and want different things out of life (as in different games) the Wii is obsessed with mini games and shovelware which doesn’t interest me one bit but then we still get together when a new Zelda or Mario title is released and I’m still an Nintendo fanboy at heart.

Case For

- It’s Nintendo
- It’s the home of Mario, Zelda, Samus et al
- USP of motion controller

Case Against

- no HD
- no real online strategy
- casual game city
- USP will be lost once the Sony Arc and Natal are released
Verdit – Stay together for sake of the kids

Microsoft XBOX 360 -

What a rollercoaster it’s been – we’ve had so much fun together that I can’t remember what life was like before we met (i.e. the day I ordered you from Currys). I love most things about you – the games you like to play are usually the ones I want to play as well. It was heart breaking when you got seriously ill (RROD) (which led to my affair with Warcraft – how low) but then you came back from the grave and it was just like old times again. Sure you’re higher maintenence than the PS3 / Wii but £40 a year seems like a bargain.

Case For

- XBOX Live is still unsurpassed
- The best exclusive content (proper games)
- XBOX Live Arcade
- Multiplatforms are better (9 times out of ten)
- Cheap

Case Against

- Reliablility issues
- Noisy
Verdict – when can Renew our Vows?

Sony PS3

I have some issues with your appearance and you made a lot of promises which didn’t seem to be met. I think we also have some communication issues (bluetoot headset). But recently I’ve seen a few signs that things might be getting better – the release of Unchartered 2 and Demon Souls seemed like a turning point. But all invested in the XBOX 360 achievements now so tend to ignore you (perhaps unfaily) maybe I still resent the way you treated me in the early days (by doing nothing).

You seem to do the same things as the 360 but not quite as well. I’m not sure we can carry on like this.

Case For

- 2010 is year of PS3 (PS3 has the best line of exclusives this year IMO)
- Blu Ray player
- Free online
- I can remember the good old days by playing some PS2 games
- I can instal Linux (not sure why you’d want to do this)

Case Against

- Flakey multiplatform ports
- fragmented approach to online gaming
- Home (are you thinking what I’m thinking?)
- Nothing essential apart from Unchartered
- Warhawk

Verdict – I don’t think this is working out – we need to talk

PC

You cost me a small fortune and you run Windows 7 (highly rated because it’s not rubbish) but on the other had you can run Crysis on maxed out settings and allow me to play games where I can control WW2 from the air and make little soliders make little walls out of tiny sandbags (Company of Heroes). The games are also cheaper. The resolutions are higher. The graphics are better.

Case For

- Games are cheaper
- RTS
- Steam
- Free Online
- Free Mods
- Warcraft
- upgradeable
- more graphical ooompphh than any console

Case Against

- Massive intial outlay
- Windows

Verdict – the start of something special

In conclusion the poor old PS3 is the least loved console in my house. It’s not a bad machine and there are some cool games on there but it’s functionality pretty much overlaps with the 360 and I’m more invested in achievements than the PS3 equivilant. But we live in hope and this year looks like the PS3 might finally get some decent exclusives that don’t feature Nathan Drake. I also shelled out 400 quid on this monster when it was released to to cash it in for 100 quid would be heartbreaking.